Soap is not a condiment
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We got so high we made milksteak
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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