I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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