Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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