so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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