That's when you crack a 10am beer
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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