Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
