OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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