I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My vagina is officially offended.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
