I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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