I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
