At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
