you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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