The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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