I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
