Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
