please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
