He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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