He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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