i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
