maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
