Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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