Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he told me I talked like a deaf person
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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