is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
