Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
