I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
