dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is the high leading the old right now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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