if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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