Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
