i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
