I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
