How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
