dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize