You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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