we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
