After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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