well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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