So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it's like heaven, but drunker
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
