we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize