She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
