dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
