Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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