so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
