I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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