My sheets look like a crime scene.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
