Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
