Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
