And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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