Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am available for nakedness
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
