you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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