broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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