I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
