I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
