I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
