hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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