i think my tv is drunk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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