JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
