are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
