im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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