Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
