we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
